When the day came that I would meet Monyka again for the first time after 20 years, I never expected for this woman, whom I’d never stopped loving, to also be my best friend.
Now, for some people you’re probably saying to yourself.. ‘well duuuuh’ but for others, their lovers aren’t always their best friends. Think about how we define those people around us: This is my wife Maria, this is my husband John, this is my fiance’, or my boyfriend, this is my FRIEND Jack… and oft time in conversation, ‘Yeah, Jack’s my best friend, we’ve been buds since grade school’.
So you see, for some, including myself, having my lover, my true love be my best friend is something just as amazing as her loving me back after all these years ( for you new readers, years refers to the more than 2 decade gap between Mony and me being together). See…
I have had numerous lovers, dates, girls, flings and been married once. I’ve had acquaintences, associates, pals and friends, I have even had 1 or 2 ‘best friends’ in my lifetime… and for the longest time I thought that was just fine, but now…? Now I can’t even begin to describe the differences between all those others and Mony, it’s not the same, she is my best friend in the truest sense of the words. She is my confidant, my partner, someone that tells me most everything (some things are best left alone so the magic doesn’t fly away) and I tell her most things. She confides in me, trusts me, believes in me and even if those best friends in my life have also done those things, none quite as deeply and as trusting as she. I reciprocate because for the first time in my life I truly trust someone without limit or hesitation.
I’ve never trusted, and on my journey through life there were people that were supposed to be honorable and command integrity through their positions and titles… titles like Mother and Father, Best Friend, Spouse, and it was people like that (at an early age and through life) that showed me that betrayal was a far greater force of human nature than loyalty… and titles. So for the rest of my life, and still to this day, I am always thinking and wondering what’s up someone’s sleeve, and if not, I’m keeping them at a fair distance, but Mony? Not a chance, I trust her.
Some of you might say… ‘that’s going to be your undoing E. You’re giving her what life has taught you to hold close and she’s bound or will eventually turn on you.” Even my own inner voice has said “Human nature for self righteousness and self preservation far outweighs the power of honor and loyalty.” However, Mony has gone far above and beyond to prove me and my perspective wrong, it’s not like it was a secret, she knew coming in that I had serious trust issues… SEEERRRRIOUS trust issues. But she went out of her way to show me how much I mean to her, unlike anyone I’ve ever known.
I don’t say this because I’m madly in love, I say this look in on my own relationship, sometimes trying to understand how it came to be that I deserved such a gift… sometimes looking in and trying to see the cracks in the armor and if there can possibly be a moment that I’ll be broken into tiny pieces by her. But always, time and again, she proves to me that she is better than any best friend I’ve ever known, she is better than any lover I’ve ever known and she in fact is mine, mind, body and soul.
I am lucky, and I say again after 20 years of knowing many married couples, there are far and few that have ever said, nor can ever say that their best friend is their spouse. Sure, I’ve heard it, but hey… contradiction often follows those hollow words.
I’m going to marry my best friend… now that’s fucking awesome.
Thanks for reading