I love her… that is perfection.
You see, no relationship is a Utopian one, I think that’s where people get discouraged and frustrated. Looking at a relationship and it’s flaws as if there is something wrong, never seeming to be satisfied with what they have or not going in a direction to grow. Maybe it’s the way we interpret the meanings of words and how we act on them that can throw a good relationship into a bad space, certainly some people should not be together and certainly some relationships are truly toxic… but what about those good ones that are meant to last that for some stupid reason don’t?
Here’s what I’ve learned through life, both by experience and by educating myself.
Perfect doesn’t exist if it is looked at through Utopian dogma. Nothing is perfect by definition, however if you define perfect for you then perfect can exist. If you don’t think you have the perfect relationship then you don’t. If you look at a relationship and point out the flaws without trying to correct them then all you see is the flaws and therefore your perfect relationship isn’t perfect.
I have a perfect relationship, it is perfect for me, the flaws in it aren’t flaws at all… they are the character that keep it interesting, keep it growing and evolving…see… it’s all about perspective.
She doesn’t like my sense of humour… pffft… how about you rethink that statement instead of trying to make it true… how about you realize that it isn’t a profound dislike and realize that she doesn’t get it, maybe she doesn’t find it funny because she has a different perspective on humour, maybe you just aren’t a freaking comedian! But what ever it is, maybe you need to focus on the things that do make her laugh…hey, I know I’m not Eddie freaking Murphy and I don’t try to be funny, but if Mony laughs (and I can’t always remember what it was I did that made her laugh) then I focus on what’s perfect… her laughter and how I did it.
I might have said from time to time ‘we’re not perfect’ but that’s by definition of perfection found in a dictionary… we are perfect, we’re perfect for eachother and the things that aren’t completely in line, we work with and make them perfect for us. Relationships aren’t about striving for perfection, they are about growing and loving and having that grow and evolve. It helps when in our soul you feel it… that feeling that says no matter what I belong with this person… and it is a healthy feeling (not a dependency)… when you have that feeling you hold on to it and don’t let anything tell you otherwise that it isn’t a perfect relationship.
There are no fairy tales by definition, but there is by my definition, I am living a perfect fairy tale with Mony… I believe that. As long as you believe you have a perfect lover, and show them how perfect it all really is, then you start down the path to growth. If you deviate from the path get back on it and keep going forward, even if you have to grab the bitch by the wrist and say, “Shut Up, C’mon, Let’s Go…. I got something to show you” and you drag them down the path with you to show them just how perfect they are for you… what have you got to lose?
You may have to do this a few times until you find that perfect lover, its’ okay… don’t let labels and social crutches force you into a life of ‘loving the one your with’ because you can’t be with the one you love, find that perfection, show her or him the perfection they are…
How do I do it? One of the ways is this blog, Mony reads it, she gets to read my thoughts about her, about how much I love her, how much I’m in love with her… and today she gets to be reminded about just how amazing a couple we are… because in a world full of imperfections we’re perfect… she’s perfect, she’s perfect for me and the life we’re leading no matter how difficult right now is perfect. I would not trade the struggles right now for a life with someone else… there is no life without her… and I know this because I lived a life without her… remember folks she was my first love when I was but a dumb ass kid, and I never forgot her, that’s why I found her… because I knew there was nothing else.
Thanks for Reading