Painful…, But

Long distance relationships are wrought with challenges such as… Um, well,  how about distance?  Then there may be time differences, lifestyle, environment, finances, children, jobs, communication, and all manner of obstacle and nuance that can make it difficult to maintain that LDR.  In fact either the LDR ends on the two people coming together or just ends, and when you’re me, you sure  as hell  aren’t going to let  anything get in  your way of  getting the LDR  to  the point of coming together.

One of the toughest things to overcome in a strong relationship that is ‘afflicted’ by the LDR  disease, is sorrow.   Yep,  believe it or not the sadness one feels when the  time together has ended and  things have to go back to  the long distance playbook.  Sorrow can result in  depression, distancing, irritability, and stresses that could have an impact not only on the  relationship, but on the people around  us.

Mony and I are saddened by having to  go back the the  LDR playbook,  we spent 3 solid months together and all  together of the last year probably the better part of 3/4ths of a year  together  with visits… she always made her way  to see me and I appreciate that,  and all the time together has brought us closer, so close that it hurts deeply that we’re apart again.  In fact,  the day after she  went home I  ended up with a head cold… is it timing, is it emotional, is it coincidence… who knows, but as far as I’m concerned it represents completely  how I feel without her physically here:  SICK!

However, I refuse to  let sadness get the better  of me, and since her departure a few days ago,  I’ve reminded myself of all  the great things we can accomplish together, I’m  looking forward to getting to her for my birthday, I’m reminding myself that her sadness is more  important than  mine and I’m waking up appreciating her in  my life as my first thought.  While this may not work for some people,  and it takes some  effort to  focus myself beyond my grief, I refuse to let  that painful feeling be the driving force behind my day  to day actions.  Besides,  I gave  my word to  Mony that no matter how down  I felt, I  would always try to  bring her up.  Yes it’s painful to be without her again, and for those of you who’ve followed this blog, you  know how much  she has always been  in my heart for the last 2 decades, so I’m a bit spoiled after  these last three months.  Painful…,  But I  gave my word to her that I would always work  to bring her up.

Mony once  said to me as long as one person keeps trying in  a relationship,  there is still  hope… Well maybe that doesn’t have to  apply only to the survival  of the  relationship, maybe it can apply to something like this… As long as I keep trying to make her laugh,  bring her up, make her happy and smile, as long as one of us is trying, then there’s hope she’ll be less saddened by the distance between  us again.

Painful  to  be without the love of  my life, but in my heart bringing her a smile is  more important than how  I feel… and maybe in this thought I will learn that sometimes I need to  put aside other feelings in  support of how she feels.  Now imagine if both people started doing that, then  they tell two friends, and they tell two friends and we all start putting ourselves aside for  the  other person… But that’s to big for  me  to  focus on right now, Mony’s more important and the LDR playbook is open… time to bring her a smile,  make her laugh, and if I  have  to  tell a lie about getting hit in the face with a pie on my way to work, then  screw it,  I’ll  take the  embarrassment if it brings her something to laugh about.

Now you try it…let me know if it works.

Thanks for reading

E. Vincent


About E. Vincent

Artist, Entrepreneur. Designer, Painter, Muralist, Illustrator, Writer. Business Analyst and Developer, Photography Caddy, Father, Lover, Fighter, Friend. INDESTRUCTIBLE, UNSTOPPABLE, INSEPARABLE, A Child of Destiny. Lover of Rembrandt, Da Vinci, Degas, Monet, Varga, Huerta, Royo, Adams, Swan, Lee, Warhol, Clarke, Bradbury, Serling and many other masters of the creative universe View all posts by E. Vincent

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