Long distance relationships are wrought with challenges such as… Um, well, how about distance? Then there may be time differences, lifestyle, environment, finances, children, jobs, communication, and all manner of obstacle and nuance that can make it difficult to maintain that LDR. In fact either the LDR ends on the two people coming together or just ends, and when you’re me, you sure as hell aren’t going to let anything get in your way of getting the LDR to the point of coming together.
One of the toughest things to overcome in a strong relationship that is ‘afflicted’ by the LDR disease, is sorrow. Yep, believe it or not the sadness one feels when the time together has ended and things have to go back to the long distance playbook. Sorrow can result in depression, distancing, irritability, and stresses that could have an impact not only on the relationship, but on the people around us.
Mony and I are saddened by having to go back the the LDR playbook, we spent 3 solid months together and all together of the last year probably the better part of 3/4ths of a year together with visits… she always made her way to see me and I appreciate that, and all the time together has brought us closer, so close that it hurts deeply that we’re apart again. In fact, the day after she went home I ended up with a head cold… is it timing, is it emotional, is it coincidence… who knows, but as far as I’m concerned it represents completely how I feel without her physically here: SICK!
However, I refuse to let sadness get the better of me, and since her departure a few days ago, I’ve reminded myself of all the great things we can accomplish together, I’m looking forward to getting to her for my birthday, I’m reminding myself that her sadness is more important than mine and I’m waking up appreciating her in my life as my first thought. While this may not work for some people, and it takes some effort to focus myself beyond my grief, I refuse to let that painful feeling be the driving force behind my day to day actions. Besides, I gave my word to Mony that no matter how down I felt, I would always try to bring her up. Yes it’s painful to be without her again, and for those of you who’ve followed this blog, you know how much she has always been in my heart for the last 2 decades, so I’m a bit spoiled after these last three months. Painful…, But I gave my word to her that I would always work to bring her up.
Mony once said to me as long as one person keeps trying in a relationship, there is still hope… Well maybe that doesn’t have to apply only to the survival of the relationship, maybe it can apply to something like this… As long as I keep trying to make her laugh, bring her up, make her happy and smile, as long as one of us is trying, then there’s hope she’ll be less saddened by the distance between us again.
Painful to be without the love of my life, but in my heart bringing her a smile is more important than how I feel… and maybe in this thought I will learn that sometimes I need to put aside other feelings in support of how she feels. Now imagine if both people started doing that, then they tell two friends, and they tell two friends and we all start putting ourselves aside for the other person… But that’s to big for me to focus on right now, Mony’s more important and the LDR playbook is open… time to bring her a smile, make her laugh, and if I have to tell a lie about getting hit in the face with a pie on my way to work, then screw it, I’ll take the embarrassment if it brings her something to laugh about.
Now you try it…let me know if it works.
Thanks for reading