Don’t Forget Where You’ve Been

We often look  back on our lives and see many  of the  mistakes we’ve made, but how many of  us really look  back  and say ‘what have I learned?”.  Somehow the old  cliche’ “Learn from your mistakes” has lost it’s so called ‘oomph!’  It seems that we can look back  at our accomplishments, our  failures, our lives and reminisce over them wondering where we went wrong, but so many of us fail to look back and say ‘what did I learn?’, ‘what did I do right?’  The successful one’s are usually the one’s that look at their failures and find the reasons for the  failures and learn from their mistakes,  but why have so  many not applied this  attitude to daily living?  To relationships?

Mony and I watched the Redford/Streisand classic “The Way We  Were” last night, and in it’s own right it is a tragic love story.  We discussed it and I  found that their parting at the end of the film was simply because even after they  figured out how to get along and what went wrong,  neither seemed to want to  forgive nor continue to compromise,  learn, grow or even concede with pleasure to  the other’s needs and wants.  Sure they tried through  their lives, but in the end they failed to  look back and say “What did we do  right to  get this far?”   Instead they looked at the ills and made choices based on the premise that neither was truly going to  change… and they were right, neither was!

Mony  isn’t going to change because I demand it, or even because I believe in her, she is going to change because she wants to or not at all.  We are going to  compromise,  stand firm,  agree,  disagree, grow, learn and change only if we learn from our mistakes and really look back at them to  see what we did wrong and what we learned.  The movie brings to mind how Mony and I were at eachother through the month of November, it was as if Super  Storm Sandy  brought with  it a whole shit load of stupid in those winds and we  were infected with  it.  For a minute there we both felt as  if we weren’t making any ground as a couple and  by the end of the  month,  we sat there looking back going “What the  fuck?”

As it turns out, we could have said… “We can’t  do this, look at us, this is too  much, we’re too old,  we’re too  set in our ways” and so  many  other excuses, but instead we actually looked back and said, ‘where did we fuck up?’… “what went wrong?”… and the end result was we both agreed where we screwed up, causes and effects, actions and reactions and determined that we could not  be that way.  What was our mistakes and how do we not do them  again.  We didn’t forget where we were that month and we made every effort to not let the  month of December be a repeat of November… and while  I can’t speak for Mony,  I can  say that once I realized what I’d done and what mistakes  I  made I was able to learn from those mistakes rather quickly and apply the  lesson, make the  adjustment and  talk calmly to the woman that is my partner.

The month of December was a  improvement over the  month of November and  now as January is upon me, I can look back  at the month of December  and see what I did right,  continue to improve and grow upon  these experiences and remember where I’ve been  so that I don’t forget how to get where I want to be with happiness and harmony.  The moral to the  story?

The moral is, you can look at your past and say… Damn it sucked but  you need to look at it and say ‘how can I not make those same mistakes twice”

Hindsight is 20/20…use that perfect vision  for a change and improve your foresight.

Thanks for reading
E. Vincent

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About E. Vincent

Artist, Entrepreneur. Designer, Painter, Muralist, Illustrator, Writer. Business Analyst and Developer, Photography Caddy, Father, Lover, Fighter, Friend. INDESTRUCTIBLE, UNSTOPPABLE, INSEPARABLE, A Child of Destiny. Lover of Rembrandt, Da Vinci, Degas, Monet, Varga, Huerta, Royo, Adams, Swan, Lee, Warhol, Clarke, Bradbury, Serling and many other masters of the creative universe View all posts by E. Vincent

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