When I sit here sometimes I get this jolt, a reminder of sorts that tells me that I didn’t have this happiness in my life, it was missing. It’s a physical feeling which is a bit hard to describe, kind of like being woken up abruptly out of a sound sleep, a twinge in the gut, a twist, butterflies or a knot… but whatever the description it’s a reminder that at one time I didn’t have these things that make me happy. You don’t have to be with a past love or a lost love to appreciate them, you have to remember that no matter what happens, if the two of you still love eachother, truly love eachother, then those ups and downs you have are worth it… imagine ups and downs with someone you loathe to be with (I’m sure there are a few divorcee’s that can understand that feeling).
I tried loving the one I was with instead of being with the one I love… whoever came up with that dumb ass piece of advice was, well, a dumb ass, because forcing yourself to love someone is never the same as loving the person you truly love from deep within your soul, and maybe a reminder is something we all need every now and then. I like my reminders, little physical moments that appear out of now where and remind me that life without this love and happiness was not as fulfilling as I thought it was.
Maybe you will never have that first love, but that doesn’t mean the love you have now isn’t your true love, I got lucky… my first love was in fact my true love and I am still amazed that something like that can exist, does exist and it is another reminder to me to appreciate it, even in the worst of moments… in fact Mony and I had an argument one night, and for two hours as I mulled it all over, I kept getting mad at myself for not being mad at her more than I was… silly as it sounds it was another reminder that we can overcome any obstacle, and I am quite thankful for these reminders.
I can only say to anyone in love or looking for love or who is waiting for that one true love, find a reminder even if you make it up and remind yourself to appreciate all the good that comes with that love. Remind yourself that even in your bleakest moments of the relationship, you wouldn’t be fighting so hard to fix the problem if you didn’t love them so damn much.
Thanks for reading