I think the hardest thing for any human being is to admit their flaws, mistakes, shortcomings, even lack of knowledge…no one wants to be wrong, seem dumb or be considered imperfect…guess what…we’re all those things. Yes America, we are all sometimes wrong, do dumb things and yes; you, me, they, them, we are all imperfect. Admitting this is a lot different than knowing it, and we all have our self image, egos, id, and esteem that we deal with internally almost all our lives, in fact sometimes it’s hard to get beyond our imperfections we know we have so much so that we dig our heels in and stand our ground and continue to be who we are despite the fact that the rest of the world might see a flaw that is harmful in some way; harmful to self, family, friends or work.
I remember a saying at some point in my life “it takes a real man to admit when he’s wrong”… it takes someone with a lot of courage, a lot of confidence, a lot of understanding to admit they are imperfect and sometimes do wrong… that is the basic idea, you don’t have to be only a male, you can be either gender any age, and when you can make an admission of your flaw(s) you’ve taken the first step in changing that harmful character trait. The first step is the admission, after that we all need to take continued steps to improve our behavior, and that is not always that easy to do. Courage, confidence, understanding have to be part of those steps, but how do you get there to those things, how can you find courage, build confidence, have understanding when you may have none of those things to begin with? Trust.
You need to trust that that person you are admitting this to is going to support you, be there for you, remind you… here’s one of my character flaws; I know I want all these great relationship building things I write about…but I often can’t remember to do them all, and I might do three quarters of them half the time, 25% a quarter of the time, do ten percent 99% of the time, but I don’t always do them all and I don’t always do them when their most needed. It’s one character flaw that I shouldn’t have because at work, with my kids, with art…I can execute, I’m known in my work circles for my execution… my delivery leaves something to be desired, but I can execute. So why can’t I do it in my relationship? I don’t know, and I have to trust that Mony can support me and remind me in such a way that I am eventually capable of executing 99% of those great techniques, 99% of the time.
We all have flaws, faults and shortcomings, but we can turn those around, and you can’t turn all around over night… it takes time. Mony has them, I have them, the kids have them, co-workers have them…and sometimes they aren’t that important, sometimes they might even be cute, but after a while, when the bad behavior becomes a problem, when the flaw is now having an impact on the way people feel, react or think, it’s time to accept and admit that the trait exists and try and fix it. Like I said, to get to that place you don’t just automatically start with confidence, but you start with trust and support. However the minute you can make an admission to that one person you trust, they need to support you in a positive way to get that irritating flaw to change. Now you might say to me, “Maybe that’s just who they are.” and I would say back, “You’re right”… however if that trait has been noted to you by other people and you’ve just let it become bad behavior through every aspect of you social existence, then maybe it’s time to change ‘who you are’… we’re not born this way, we’re a product of a genetic code molded and shaped by an environment, honed and sharpened by the experiences we have in life, directed by the choices we make, so personal change is always a plausible possibility, especially when the person you can make admissions to is someone who will not break your confidence, trust and always support you.
I’ll never be perfect, Mony won’t, my kids won’t and neither will you, but you can certainly be a better person by changing certain bad habits that have effects on people in your life…just once try it, something small that annoys your partner…pause one day in your reaction, maybe something you always say that just gets under the skin of your significant other… and don’t say the expected, just say something else… maybe funny, or cute, maybe intelligent, maybe simply “okay”…. see what changes and trust that your partner (unless they are a grade A asshole) is going to pause as well.
Thanks for reading, and now a note on art, photography and writing:
At present Mony is proof reading my first book, I’ve started writing the follow up…I am painting the cover as well as working on a new Pin Up illustration. The updates will hit our website soon as well as a whole new crop of photos Mony is working on…so please remember to add us on Twitter, Facebook, Pintrest, Foursquare and follow our website at http://www.mievart.com