Back in 2010 I started writing a story, the urging from friends on and off the web due to my years of blog writing under a pseudo-name, which in hindsight I probably should have kept better record of and never deleted the blogs off of the web, but as life changed I didn’t want my writings to be taken and at the time I wasn’t very good at backing up my files…so the old writings were pretty much lost. However, I’m not really concerned about the old blog posts so much as I am concerned about writing a good story now…and it took two years to finish this story, but why did it take so long?
Some people might say “It takes some writers years” others might say “A first time writer might take years” or they might say “Some first time writers write shit in three months and wonder why they don’t get represented.” For me I’m not so concerned about whether or not the time took so long because I’m good or bad, what took me so long (in my opinion) is I didn’t have the right inspiration. Sure I had my children and being a father which is what the story is about, sure it fits in my creative scope of horror, sci-fi and action, sure I wrote it from an artists perspective (visually in my mind) but none of that was enough, however…it was when Mony came back into my life that I was truly inspired, I had the missing piece to the story that made it finally come together and allowed me to finish the manuscript, to the month. Yes, October 2010 I started writing and now as of October 2012 I finished the third and final draft…because I found the inspiration that was missing all this time.
Mony is absolutely a huge inspiration in my life now, and while not all choices are inspired by her, she gives me the support I need and want. And while I made tons of choices in life for myself, by myself, I realize that there is nothing more joyful than having a partner that supports you, it’s amazing. I have always been driven, and there was little that would stop me, however it is amazing to have this person there that believes in you, I never had that! I had support in some way, but it did little for me and meant even less because it seemed as if it was obligatory, as if ‘mother’ did it half ass just because she spread her legs and popped me out, and my grandmother gave me the love I always needed from a parental figure, but she was so old school that artists and writers would starve and be homeless…so my creative side was a bit muddled and stifled for dogma of a real job and a real life.
I certainly made my choices for the career I have now, and I certainly drove my art career to a point, without the real support I knew existed, but it wasn’t until I found my soulmate, Mony, that I truly knew what was missing, and now…well now I finished my final draft of my 85000 word manuscript and have begin the second book in the trilogy. I’m doing art under my name, not a pseudo-name, and I am happy with my choices more than I would have been if I was without Mony. She truly has brought me inspiration, support and love unlike anything I ever knew, except that small window back over 20 years ago when we first met…that was the last time I had this and it was from her then…and now…it’s her again. In some ways I wish I didn’t have to find the love and support 20 years later, because I now know what I’ve been missing (for certain) all my life and it is a new regret, but I won’t dwell on it because I have it now, and it is the most amazing and incredible thing I’ve ever experienced.
As I sit here and write this, I feel the knot in my stomach and the lump in my throat, she sits on my bed as I tap out these words and I can’t help but love her more than I did 10 minutes ago and be so grateful and appreciative that I met her more than 20 years ago and found her again over a year ago, I can’t help but be thankful and appreciative for her forgiveness and welcoming me back in her life.
Thanks, and turn to that person that you love dearly and tell them they inspire you… You inspire me Mony!!!
Thanks for reading.