Checkin’ You Out

So Mony seems to think that when I am out and about, I’m checking out women…and why am I checking them out…well according to women (and Mony) it’s because I have a penis.  And admittedly, I do have a penis, but that isn’t the reason my eyes are wandering all over the place, and the thoughts on my mind aren’t about humping what I’m looking at.  This isn’t to say that this isn’t the case for many men, in fact it’s the case for both men and women, but in my case, it’s not.  However to my own detriment, if Mony said to me “if you were single would you do her?” I w0uldn’t lie, I would either answer yes or no…but the point here isn’t male humping thoughts, the point is that when my eyes are wandering, I’m checkin you all out…and I’m not thinking about humping you, when I say all…I mean ALL…Men, Women,  Young, Old, Fat, Skinny, Medium, Muscular, Asian, French, Short, Russian, Indian, Jewish, Tall, Mutated…I’m observing you all, and I am thinking…I’m thinking a lot of various things depending on my mood.

Let’s start with guys…And yes guys do check out other guys.  See when I look at a guy, I’m not sizing up the competition, I’m looking at what their wearing, how’s it look, would I look good in it, would I wear it.  I’m looking at their build, are the muscular, I wonder what their regiment is?  How old are they, how do they  keep the wrinkles at bay?  Wow, he looks old but he’s got women younger than me on his arm, how does he do it?  And if there is a face I like, something I want to commit to memory because I think it would look good in a piece of art or I have an idea, then I’m looking.   I want to see how clothes are cut, how they look on a guy, see how they hang on the body so I know what to wear and what not to wear, all in the name of ego…that’s right, for the most part, art aside, I look at guys  because I want to look good myself.

The reason I started with guys is to make a point when it comes to women…It’s the same thing, with the minor exception that I’m not trying to look like the ladies.  Most cases it’s really what their wearing I’m checking out…and in truth, for both men and women, I’m probably forming some judgmental opinion of them, maybe not consciously, but I’m sure I have some compliment or insult in the back of my mind.  It’s the way my mind works, I’m not single, I’m beholden to Mony, so my mind isn’t wandering down the path of sex, it’s in every other place as a people watcher.

I look at young guys and girls and see what the latest trends are, and like our parent’s before us, I wonder why some kids wear what they wear or do what they do.  For example, while I’m very open minded, two things that drive me batshit crazy…dropping your jeans half way down your ass cheeks.  I didn’t think it was cool when I was a kid, and  I think it’s stupid looking now as well…I’m all for ink, piercings, fashions of all types, but that has got to be the one thing that I can’t get my head around.  The other thing is the stretching of the earlobe with rings…I’ve had my ears pierced and wore earrings for many years, in fact I had 4 in one ear and 3 in the other, but that whole making handles out of your earlobes thing…do these guys and girls realize that when there 70 their earlobes are going to be touching their shoulders?  And I’m sorry, again, I love ink, fashion, individuality, shit colour your hair, I love it…but that whole earlobe stretching thing just bugs me…why not just put a plate in your lip.

But that’s not my point…my point is that what’s on a guys mind isn’t what all women think it is when our eyes are wandering around the scene, for many guys, it might be, but for equally as many guys it’s not.  Just like you women who check out other women, or who check out guys and have all other innocent thoughts, we guys do the same.  There’s really n0thing to be worried about our insecure about…when you have to worry is when those observations turn to actions, when a simple look becomes a far to deep fantasy, when simple niceties become hard flirting (not mild cute complimentary stuff like “Yer a nice lookin fellow”… you are all old enough to know what I mean.  Anyway, before you get pissy at your mate for their eyes wandering the room, how about just ask them what they’re looking at…if you know your mate well enough, you’ll know if they are lying; however if you know their telling the truth and are just Checkin Everyone  Out…join them, it could be fun…especially if a few of those poor souls you’re people watching look like true life ogres.

That’s the shtick for the day…Thanks for reading.


About E. Vincent

Artist, Entrepreneur. Designer, Painter, Muralist, Illustrator, Writer. Business Analyst and Developer, Photography Caddy, Father, Lover, Fighter, Friend. INDESTRUCTIBLE, UNSTOPPABLE, INSEPARABLE, A Child of Destiny. Lover of Rembrandt, Da Vinci, Degas, Monet, Varga, Huerta, Royo, Adams, Swan, Lee, Warhol, Clarke, Bradbury, Serling and many other masters of the creative universe View all posts by E. Vincent

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