When does a birthday matter so much that it breaks your heart to know someone’s happy birthday wasn’t so happy? When it is the person you love so much and can’t do anything special for, that’s when. Today is my sweetheart’s birthday, I wanted to be there but couldn’t, circumstances didn’t avail themselves, and while for some reasons it was good I couldn’t make the change to arrive a week early, all the rest of the situation sucks. Mony has a thing about birthdays, they are really, really a special day for her, and while last year I was able to make the day special for her, and this year she was able to make the day special for me, I couldn’t pull it off.
I don’t know if it matters to her, but I hope she can remember that celebrating any birthday is a wonderful, regardless of the day or whom you celebrate, it’s the celebration of living one more year, especially in a world that can have it’s harsh moments…it’s a celebration of things yet to come, in fact, it is your own personal new year, and while you can reflect on all the things gone wrong during the past year, or what you didn’t get for your birthday this year, you can equally look back at the entire year and see all the good that has transpired. You can plan for the future the things you wished for and didn’t get and you can open your own personal new year on a positive note.
Mony and I had a great 12 months from her last birthday…we saw a really bad Cirque de Solel performance, that had us all but sleeping…I think I did doze off for a few minutes. We spent Christmas and New Year’s together, we gambled in Atlantic City and had a grand old time losing…in fact we danced our asses off at the Best Western, and she was shaking what her mama gave her like there was no tomorrow. We went to the top of the Empire State Building for the first time together, and both of us went to Coney Island for the first time, she got a brand new digital SLR, a blog all about her, was even able to beat out the shipping costs on so clothes because she had me to ship them to so they would wait for her here. There was a painting I did of her, and she got to visit her parent, see her nieces and nephews and reconnect with a few childhood friends. We got drunk a dozen times and she had an opportunity to make friends with a NY Hobo… We cried our asses off, watched our favourite movie together for the first time “THE NOTEBOOK” and she introduced me to Salmon Arm, her children and her life.
And that’s only a few things to be happy about that occurred in the last year of her life. She got engaged…can’t forget that, and taught me to be humble, grateful and understanding. She helped me out when I was unsure of how to deal with situations with my kids, and even made me realize that the most annoying people weren’t so bad when you saw things with a positive perspective…she found that a long time acquaintance was really an incredible friend, she came to terms with certain things in her life that were holding her back, and she found that her talent was far more appreciated than she ever knew. She learned that she could lose weight, beat pain and walk a lot more than she thought in 115 degree heat.
Yes, she may not have gotten what she wanted, I certainly wasn’t able to give it to her this year, and she might not have done everything she had hoped for by the time she reached this birthday, but she certainly has accomplished so much in so little time that she has much to be happy about, and she should stand with pride. Case in point – When we found eachother again, she was so broken by a recent injury, that she could barely walk a half mile without the pain bringing her to nothing short of tears…in less than a year, with no therapy and only a little aid from medication, her tiny little careful baby steps, became normal strides again, and she traversed miles… It certainly is a happiness to celebrate. I’m a realist, and I can tell you that I really believed she would be able to do it, but I did not expect her to accomplish what she did there, in less than a year.
Mony is sad today because she is reflecting on all she didn’t do, and what she didn’t get, and we’re all human, we all feel disappointment, but what we didn’t do can be done and what we didn’t get can be gotten, so let’s celebrate an amazing year this woman had and all the things she did, all the firsts, all the accomplishments and all the steps taken for the future…because she is an amazing woman and if you knew her like I did, if you were there watching this all unfold, you’d know how amazing.
Happy Birthday My Love…you’re amazing.